As you may have heard, we are currently in a war with the humans. We try to blend in, we really do, but it's hard. We mean, the humans we live with have a strong hatred towards potatoes, hence all the cruel things they do to them (view Struggles of a Potato).
However, since we both are a rare breed of human and potato, the humans have captured us. We are waiting for a perfect time to strike. We need to save the potato race if we want to continue having potatoes in our lives *cough*meals*cough*.
So while we are trapped and waiting for our time to strike, our captors are trying to bribe us with a lifetime supply of potato sacks(or whatever you want) and when that didn't work they tried to blackmail us with the lives of potatoes. Sadly they don't know what we do and that really sucks for them( this sentence confuses me...) We know the potatoes who they have captive will die to serve their kind and they trust us to keep the potatoes' secrets hidden from the humans. Their survival depends on us. We have been also poked with forks, had butter and salt put on us. We were wondering what they were doing until one of the guys told us to eat ourselves. Giving them a weird look and trying to bite ourselves without causing pain was strange. They think they can run their silly tests on us. Pffft these captors are really dumb.
You may be wondering how we are posting this. Well the humans allowed us to keep our phones. They don't have service here and thought we won't be able to communicate with anyone but there is WIFI. We aren't sure if they know this or not but it's all good. Hopefully we can continue this while we await our escape or rescue.
Stay strong potatoes, stay strong.
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